Interview transcript
Kathy was in sixth grade when she wrote to Bernstein from her childhood home in Roslyn Heights, New York. I found her at Boston University, where she is Professor Emeritus in Management and Organziation. In our discussion, she recounted why her mother felt she had a special connection with Bernstein, and her own childhood impressions of Bernstein as a highly relational person.
***
Dear Mr. Bernstein,
I am in sixth grade and I was assigned to do a research project on any great person. I picked you. I watch all your children concerts on T.V. and enjoy them a great deal. I play the piano and cello, also.
I was wondering if you have any pictures or information on your life. I would appreciate anything at all about you. If you would I will be very greatful.
Sincerely yours,
Kathy Kram
***
So I grew up in New York on Long Island, which is just outside of New York City, in a town called Roslyn Heights. And I had one older brother and two parents, and my dad was a business executive; and my mom, interestingly, was a classical pianist, not professionally.
What happened to my mom, you’ll appreciate this, at the age of 16 she was admitted to the Curtis School of Music in Philadelphia; and interestingly, she would have been a classmate of Leonard Bernstein’s. She used to brag about that. But her parents wouldn’t let her go because she was so young and they didn’t think she was old enough to go to Philadelphia. It was really … my mother talked about it for years when I was growing up – how it was a real missed opportunity – and she ended up going to a regular college and studying pre-med.
But in those days – we’re talking about 1945 – women didn’t go into professions. It was very unusual. So she ended up becoming a housewife; and as a housewife, she taught piano. You know, she did that as something she did, and she continued to play piano. I remember growing up with a lot of classical music in the house. She played Chopin and Dvořák and Brahms and all kinds of stuff. I, on the other hand … she exposed both my brother and me to piano lessons, and I also studied the cello for about five years.
***
I even remember his name – Mr. Signorelli. He was American, but I think he must have had an Italian background. He was the conductor and teacher of all the classical music. So I was in the orchestra. And you know, I think I had a lot of natural talent, but music was perceived in the school I went to as kind of a sideline – not as something to embrace wholeheartedly and prioritize above everything else. I mean, there were always those few kids who were really good at it and the rest of us, sort of, we didn’t practice a lot. I remember sitting in orchestra, being kind of insolent and not as good … as well behaved as I was in all my academic subjects, you know.
And I don’t know how much that was my family upbringing versus the school culture. It’s hard to discern which; but I always felt that the academic homework came first. And I was a high achiever, so I usually had very little time to practice cello. And I also … I took private lessons outside of school, both on piano and cello. I mean, my mother really tried to get me interested and involved. But … I don’t, I don’t know why I did not take with me until I became much older.
And then when I went to college, this is interesting, I immediately I brought my cello with me to college, and I joined the chamber group on campus; and I must have stayed about three weeks, and that was it. I found it too demanding because I was just trying to get my head around the academics.
I went to a very challenging college. I went to MIT, which is a well-known technical institute. It was very demanding and very competitive. And I just thought, I can’t do music. I just have to devote all my energy to classroom work. And that’s what I did. And that’s when it all started to recede into the background.
When I was in college, I remember you know, I followed my peers into the Rolling Stones, and the Beatles, and popular music. And that’s all I listened to for a number of years. Yeah. I would say quite honestly, I would say I didn’t get back to classical until I met my husband. That’s amazing. I mean, we’re talking like ten years or eight years.
I think we got a black and white TV when I was under five. And I don’t know when they became color, but we always had a TV from then on. TV was in the playroom. And of course, we didn’t have computers back then. So … TV was relatively new when I was growing up. So I’m sure I watched those concerts with my mother; or at least she told me about it and turned it on. She might not have stayed the whole time, but she often did, I think.
I remember … the only thing I remem… it’s a very faint memory is that he talked to us, the kids, I think, when he did these concerts for children. Is that right? That’s my vague memory. And he didn’t just play. He talked. Yeah. And you know, I remembered that when I saw the movie that was recently made about him – that he loved talking to people about what he was creating and so on.
Because I’m such a relational person, I ended up studying, in Psychology, mentoring relationships. You know, I’m very interested in what goes on between people that is growth enhancing. And so when I saw this well-known composer and performer, who told stories about his music, that drew me in. That drew me in.
And to this day, it’s still that way. You know, when I … I enjoy music most when I’m at a live performance and the musicians actually talk about what they’re playing, and sometimes share personal experiences that shape the music.
***
I do not remember writing it at all! So when I saw this letter, I knew it was from me. I could see my handwriting. It was amazing. I was so excited about it, actually. But I have no memory of writing it. And I have to assume that my mom suggested it. I don’t know where else it would have come from. Because I don’t remember being really excited … I do remember watching Leonard Bernstein. But it wasn’t a central activity.
***
When I think about his … the context in which he lived and worked, he was the only living classical composer and artist that I was aware of. You know what I mean? They were … and I considered him classical, but he did do some very modern stuff, too, right? He conducted music that could move into the popular – you know, music from show tunes and stuff like that.
My mother had a special connection with him, through her own not being able to be a classmate of his. I think that, you know, she kind of identified this … ‘look what happened to this guy that I might have being school with’. Yeah. So that … I think that really made a difference for me. …
And was Bernstein Jewish? I don’t know if that was part of my mom’s appeal with him. I don’t know. There is a lot of anti Semitism in this country. But in my circles when I grew up, it was probably the case that everybody was excited that he could make it this big even though he was Jewish.
***
I think he was considered a bit – I don’t know this for sure, but my impression – he was a bit of a maverick. You know, he sort of drew outside the lines. You know, he was very creative … everything he did was novel and provocative and interesting. That’s my memory of him.